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Hi everyone, I read that google reader is shutting down and I´m not entirely sure if GFC will still work, so just in case I linked it to Bloglovin if you want to go follow :)Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Hi everyone,

The 26th was my birthday :) the good side is that I got cupcakes, the bad side is that a piece of the filling(?) of my lower back left molar fell again, this is the second time that it happens. I´m getting it fixed next week, but this is the type of things that really put me down, I can´t help but think that this is never going to be over and to wonder if years after the surgery is finally done, am I going to even have teeth left? My dentist said that I could get veneers after it´s all over but what if during the months with braces my teeth get worse and worse I end up loosing them all or something?

I know I´m being paranoid but I´m already super careful with my dental hygiene and stuff like this still happens. I honestly don´t know what else to do.

In other news, I went to see the international officer of the uni I´m applying to, to tell her about my situation, she said that I should apply and see if I get an offer and then decide, I think that if they offer a place and I decide I want to get the surgery done here and then go to uni, my place is saved for a year. I´ve been thinking about it and while it would be great to be able to do both at the same time, it´s probably going to be really hard on me and I won´t be able to focus on my course as much as I would like to, specially if I have a swollen metal mouth, trying to communicate in a language that is not natural to me and doing a fashion course haha. I do want to go to uni, and I am going to go to uni, I haven´t made up my mind entirely but right now it looks like I´m going with surgery first and then uni so I can fully enjoy it. I had a heart to heart (?) talk with my dad where I said things that I´ve been holding for years and he said things that I think I knew but wasn´t really sure and even though I sometimes still feel horribly I think that I´m starting to see the light, we have a plan now and things look like they´re finally going in the right direction. I´m hoping to post about my consultation with a surgeon soon and get started with the process already :D

Also I wanted to say that I´m sorry if I don´t comment on your posts but be sure that I read them and think about your processes in my mind in a not as creepy as that sounded way. You know that post about the types of people in facebook? Like how there´s one that always puts things like worst day ever and if you ask what´s wrong they´ll say I dont want to talk about it? Or the one that always sends games requests?

Well I´m the one that reads everything and knows everything and just never comments or makes their presence known hahah. I don´t know if it´s because I´m self concious because of my jaw, or because I feel like people don´t need or want to know my opinions or maybe if it´s just because I´m weird and don´t like people knowing what I´m thinking, I just do it.

I´m going to try and be proactive and actually go and say all the things I´m thinking (maybe not all) and feel like a part of the community for once, both internet and real. I´m not sure if any of that made sense or if just rambling as usual, but yeah...

Hope you all are doing good :)

Decisions, decisions.

Hi, quick question everyone, I've been applying to universities in the UK, it's very likely that I'll get accepted and get the chance to go there, now my dilemma is if I show go now and try and look for an ortho there and somehow see if it could be done and maybe get back here for the surgery when I'm ready? Like have an international team haha. Or if I should not go and deal with this first? Or if I should go and deal with surgery later? I know all them have their cons and pros especially money and time, but I need to know what other people think. The only things to keep in mind are that basically I hate my bite and can't eat properly or smile confidently and the second thing is that I'm dying of boredom here because Mexico does not have a fashion industry that interests me and so basically I'm just wasting precious time that could be use for something more helpful like an internship. Please let me know what you think.

So I thought I would put up a couple more pics just for the sake of it. I'm honestly too ashamed about putting my whole face up here until something at least is going on so sorry for that :)

Only the very last teeth meet.

And you can also kind of see how my nose get all crooked

My oh so asymmetrical face.

My whole tongue can get out haha

No cheeks ;(

Also sorry about the quality of the pics. My tonsils are fine now so I guess it was just the cold. Hope everyone is doing fine :)

Hey
I hope you all are having a lovely 2013 so far, not much has been going on with me. We found two surgeons and we´re on the process of getting appointments, so fingers cross for that.
I´ve also been having this weird pain in the inside of my jaw through the neck on the left side, makes sense? I think it may be the tonsil, but I´m not sure, it feels as if someone was putting needles in there and some other times as if fingers were pressing hard.
My ears have been annoying me a bit too, I think it´s because of the cold and not because I´m getting an infection, hopefully.

2013 goals.

2012 truly was a horrible year for me, I had a forced gap year in which I did nothing productive, not because I didn´t want to but because I couldn´t, I was probably depressed most of the year to the point of not wanting to leave my room unless it was absolutely necessarily,

 I didn´t start university along with my friends because I want to go to university in the UK, that´s going to happen, I have all my paperwork ready I just have to submit it and there´s a big possibility I may even get a scholarship. 

That´s great and all, but in the back of my mind my jaw is always lingering around... It makes me angry not because I think I´m ugly, but because I think I could be so pretty yet I´m not, and this isnt something I could easily hide with make up or clothes or something like that, half of my face is not the way it should be and the only way I could hide it would be if I wore a burka, but I´m not a muslim so it would be disrespectful. So I´m stuck showing my asymmetrical face around, I´ve never been bullied about it, not to my face anyway but I certainly would feel better around people if I didnt had to hide my teeth all the time, or the way my jaw rests so that it doesn´t look even bigger.

 I´m not really a shy person, I keep to myself, that´s true, but overall I have no problem meeting new people or just being social, yet this year I just couldn´t bear it, if it weren´t for a couple people I would have probably lost it. That along with other things just made 2012 terrible. 

People that don´t have this problem don´t understand, I told a couple of friends at a Christmas dinner party that I was getting the surgery, half of them looked at me in horror and asked why would I go through something like that, the other half was interested because they´re in med school hahah. I only know of two people that are having the problem corrected, both from my school, one is older than me and I think she had an underbite as well, I only know she went through surgery because my anatomy teacher told me, I never talked to her as she ha left school by the time I found out and the other girl is from my year, she has/had an overbite and I´m unsure if ise got her surgery yet or not. My mom has a slight underbite, and that makes me worried that if I have kids they could get it too, I don´t think I could stand it if my kids had to go through it like I do, hopefully medicine will be so advanced that if there´s a possibility they could get it, it could be fixed since they´re fetuses or something? 

Besides my mom, I don´t personally know anybody that has and underbite though, I´ve got this obsession now to look at people´s jaws to see if they need to get something done, probably a bit weird hahah. 

But that was last year, this year I´ve promise to myself that I´m going to have a more positive outlook on life, be a "yes woman" like Rosie from The Londoner said. 

So basically the whole point of these post is to say that things get better, it certainly helps to actually do something about it, which is in part why I started this blog, to feel like there´s some advance in this whole process and it´s not just me whining about it to whoever will listen. So far, I´ve managed to convince my parents that I actually need to get this done soon, that it´s not something that can wait a couple more years like so many things already,  that I honestly can´t keep on living like this. It seems like a minor thing, but trust me, it´s not. 

Now that I have them focused on this, the next step is obviously to find my surgical team. I´m 85% certain that I´m going to need a SARPE surgery, The problem though its going to find a surgeon that knows how to do it and its willing to, I have hope that México is honestly not as far behind in medical procedures as I think, I like to think that in a couple months I´m going to look back at this post and laugh at my scepticism. But anyway, in a couple months I should be getting braces and next thing I know I´m post op, with a chipmunk face and in the way to recovery.

After this huge rant all Ihave left to say is that congratulations if you read this far, and hopefully next time I´ll post I´ll have something more interesting to say about my situation haha.

Have a nice 2013 everyone! :D

Happy New Year!

May this 2013 be fill with new functional jaws and pretty smiles!